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mrdummy
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 Last replied to on Wed Mar 08, 2006 14:17:24
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You may proofread it again if you want.
I want re-release chapter 18 and 19 again with fixed font (you know, wrong 'w' and 'z' characters) to make volume 3 completed and verified. Both chapters are published with low proofreading and fixes.
You can place here some comments for chapter 18.
And in another topic chapter 19.
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crusaderky
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Posted at Fri Mar 03, 2006 16:25:05
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Whole chapter: fix lowercase 'w'
91: dirt on the semaphore
update credits
white spot over "translation"
white spots on the bra and right of it
damaged color on the jacket, left of the hair
92: EH?!? would be better
1st panel: white spot on hiromi's hair
bottom-left: white border ain't white
93: EEEH!?!? would be better
94: "How to be H" plus note -> "How to have sex". This is the common translation, you don't lose any meaning and you don't have to go read a side note. Plus, even if many people roughly know what "ecchi" means, not-so-many will immediately realize that they have to read "H" as "ecchi" to make it have any sense.
Your voice is too loud (remove ...)
White spots on mako's sleeve
Black spot under "seems it's alright"
dirt on the bottom border
Hisama -> Hisamatsu
remove ... after "possibility exists"
95: 1st panel: black spot on kana's hand, under kana's skirt and inside the い of いやあん. Hair on kana's legs.
2nd panel: black spots right and over "it's love"
3rd panel: black spot at the bottom of the stairs
4th panel: white spots on hiromi's necktie
96: kay -> 'kay
put back the heart under "Mako-chan"
97: 2nd panel: black spot right of the shoulder
2nd and 3rd panel: dirt on the faces
right of 3rd panel: dirty border
98: "Has" -> "...has" since there's a really long wait since the beginning of the phrase
black spot on kana's nose, on the star left of "Mako-chan, she..." and on the anular finger
dirt on the sleeve under "listen! listen!" and under the hair left of the neck
99: white spot on the pillar, right of Tamami's sleeve
Kashiwagi.. -> Kashiwagi... (add an extra .)
got bored. I'm gonna do pages 100-118 sometime later.  In the meantime, you can work on chapter 19.
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CRVSADER//KY
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povidiusnaso
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Posted at Fri Mar 03, 2006 23:30:50
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I'm going to try noting a few places where I notice dirt, spotting, hairs, etc. in the scans, but I don't really know what I'm doing there, so feel free to ignore me if the comments aren't applicable.
p96: "La lala"
Should there be a note symbol after the "lala?"
p97: "You did good to come talk to me! You can rely on me about these kind of things!"
Technically, "good" here is incorrect because it's used an adverb; the correct form would be, "You did well." However, lots of English speakers use "good" as an adverb, and using "well" tends to sound stuffy and formal, so it may be best to leave it as-is.
"These kind of things" should be either "these kinds of things" or "this kind of thing."
p102: "If I keep taking photos everyday . . ."
Space between "every" and "day."
Left top panel: spot above head of random schoolboy
p103: top panel, white spot on Kashiwagi's bloomers, spot above center of her back
bottom right panel, spot on her left leg
p106: "You've be following us..."
Should be "You've been following us."
p107: "Hisamasa-san . . ."
Should be "Hisamatsu-san?"
bottom right panel, spot to left of Hisamatsu's face.
p109: top panel, spots on wall in the center
p110: "It's because you weren't able to hook up and stop Kashiwagi from leaving, Sempai."
The phrasing sounds a little strange to me, but I'm not sure there's anything wrong per se.
p111: top panel, spots on the top balcony
p112: ". . . already found someone new...."
Should have one fewer period, so "new...?"
p113: "Ah...."
See above.
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crusaderky
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Posted at Sat Mar 04, 2006 14:59:32
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Quote:
p95: "La-lala"
Should there be a note symbol after the "lala?" |
Why? She's just singing.
Quote:
"These kind of things" should be either "these kinds of things" or "this kind of thing." |
"these kinds of things" sounds wrong. It should be "this kind of things" IMHO.
Quote:
p102: "If I keep taking photos everyday . . ."
Space between "every" and "day." |
You're right. "everyday" is only usable as an adjective.
http://www.webster.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?sourceid=Mozilla-search&va=everyday
Quote:
p106: "You've be following us..."
Should be "You've been following us." |
First baloon: "You"
Second baloon: "have been following us..."
Quote:
p107: "Hisamasa-san . . ."
Should be "Hisamatsu-san?" |
indeed. I checked the kanji just to be sure.
Quote:
p110: "It's because you weren't able to hook up and stop Kashiwagi from leaving, Sempai."
The phrasing sounds a little strange to me, but I'm not sure there's anything wrong per se. |
Can't find anything better. But I don't think Sempai should be capitalized.
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povidiusnaso
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Posted at Mon Mar 06, 2006 10:49:49
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Quote:
p95: "La-lala"
Should there be a note symbol after the "lala?"
Why? She's just singing. |
Well, there's a note in the Japanese text, I think.
Quote:
"These kind of things" should be either "these kinds of things" or "this kind of thing."
"these kinds of things" sounds wrong. It should be "this kind of things" IMHO. |
Since this is an idiomatic expression, it's hard to analyze it using formal grammar. As a field study of English usage, Google turns up 6,210,000 hits for "this kind of thing," 726,000 for "these kinds of things," and 122,000 for "this kind of things." Those frequencies support, "this kind of thing," as the dominant usage.
Quote:
p110: "It's because you weren't able to hook up and stop Kashiwagi from leaving, Sempai."
The phrasing sounds a little strange to me, but I'm not sure there's anything wrong per se.
Can't find anything better. But I don't think Sempai should be capitalized. |
I agree. Should I be marking irregular capitalizations? (I wasn't sure.)
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crusaderky
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Posted at Mon Mar 06, 2006 15:51:54
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p95: "La-lala"
Well, there's a note in the Japanese text, I think. |
Ah, a musical note. Sorry, I just realized what you mean. Yeah, there should be one.
Quote:
Since this is an idiomatic expression, it's hard to analyze it using formal grammar. As a field study of English usage, Google turns up 6,210,000 hits for "this kind of thing," 726,000 for "these kinds of things," and 122,000 for "this kind of things." Those frequencies support, "this kind of thing," as the dominant usage. |
The three sentences aren't strictly equivalent. Since she is talking about everything concerning sex, it's not a single "thing" but more "things".
Quote:
I agree. Should I be marking irregular capitalizations? (I wasn't sure.) |
yes.
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povidiusnaso
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Posted at Wed Mar 08, 2006 03:15:24
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The three sentences aren't strictly equivalent. Since she is talking about everything concerning sex, it's not a single "thing" but more "things". |
Wouldn't it be "these kinds of things," then, so the number agrees? Not sure if this argument is worth continuing.
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crusaderky
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Posted at Wed Mar 08, 2006 14:17:24
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I'd vote for these kinds of things.
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