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mrdummy
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 Last replied to on Sun May 14, 2006 10:10:49
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Yay... next chapter!
Do you worry about the troubles at the end of chapter 25? Well, you can read more about it in chapter 26.
But there are so many things happens with Mako-chan!
Interesting chapter.
Translators can start with translate chapter 26 if they have time for it. 
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boke
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Posted at Tue May 09, 2006 20:15:48
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translation has been done
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mrdummy
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Posted at Tue May 09, 2006 22:30:56
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Thank you! *deep bow for respect*
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povidiusnaso
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Posted at Wed May 10, 2006 20:11:17
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093: "So coooo!"
Should this be, "So cooool!", or is Kana clipping herself off?
113: "I want your body too..."
Echoing crusaderky's comment from last time, does she actually say that? It seems kind of rude, when she's hoping to persuade Ayame to date her.
No other proofreading comments, though I'll give it a fresh read if you don't release for awhile.
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boke
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Posted at Wed May 10, 2006 23:33:32
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093: "So coooo!"
Should this be, "So cooool!", or is Kana clipping herself off? |
Should be "So cooool!"
113: "I want your body too..."
Quote:
Echoing crusaderky's comment from last time, does she actually say that? It seems kind of rude, when she's hoping to persuade Ayame to date her. |
It's what she means. But a better translation might be "I want a physical relationship with you, too"
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crusaderky
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Posted at Thu May 11, 2006 14:15:22
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p100: "ignore this SFX". if you tell us what it means, maybe someone can come up with a reasonable translation. IMHO it's bad to just leave it untranslated, since the reader will feel like it's an incomplete work (and the reader can't know that SFX is worthless).
p101: doncha think -> don't you think
p102: ya -> you
p102: doncha have -> don't you have
There's no reason to start speaking slang all off sudden!
p103: I'm really ok, alright? Why don't you see Ayame-chan home, ok? Right? -> I'm really ok, alright? Why don't you accompany Ayame-chan home? Ok?
Changed "see" to "accompany" since "see" is later repeated many times.
proofreading complete.
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CRVSADER//KY
CVI.SCIENTIA.IMPERIVM
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boke
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Posted at Thu May 11, 2006 20:03:35
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p100: "ignore this SFX". if you tell us what it means, maybe someone can come up with a reasonable translation. IMHO it's bad to just leave it untranslated, since the reader will feel like it's an incomplete work (and the reader can't know that SFX is worthless). |
Japanese has a rich and robust vocabulary for sound effects that English does not begin to touch. In this case, the sfx indicates sliding into unconsciousness, which English doesn't have onomatopoeia for. When the action is obvious from the art, and when the translated sfx would be a description rather than a real sfx, I find it inelegant and distracting to have a translation. IMHO, I would rather have the reader wonder than find the translation awkward.
Quote:
p101: doncha think -> don't you think
p102: ya -> you
p102: doncha have -> don't you have
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Dad speaks with somewhat of a country accent, and the translation has tried to indicate that consistently. Please change back.
Quote:
p103: I'm really ok, alright? Why don't you see Ayame-chan home, ok? Right? -> I'm really ok, alright? Why don't you accompany Ayame-chan home? Ok?
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no prob.
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mulrich
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Posted at Thu May 11, 2006 22:26:32
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Dad speaks with somewhat of a country accent, and the translation has tried to indicate that consistently. Please change back. |
But if Dad hasn't spoken like that before - taking the ADTRW releases into account as well - it would be inconsistent. I don't have the time to check nor am I part of staff, so feel free to ignore me. I just wanted to give my say.
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SinsI
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Posted at Thu May 11, 2006 22:35:13
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pg 116: Shikkari - "Hang in there"
I think something like "Brace yourself" would be better.
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boke
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Posted at Thu May 11, 2006 23:38:00
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But if Dad hasn't spoken like that before - taking the ADTRW releases into account as well - it would be inconsistent. I don't have the time to check nor am I part of staff, so feel free to ignore me. I just wanted to give my say. |
It sounds like you have two concerns - consistency within the Dummy Scans project, and consistency of the Dummy Scans project with ADTRW. I'll address each separately.
Dad has spoken with a country twang as long as I have been working on the project. Consistency of accents is a concern for me, and I pay attention to things like when people use slang and contractions. I'm confident that the Dummy Scans translations are consistent with each other.
I have never read the ADTRW translations - I read the originals in Japanese - so I have no clue what their approach was. Every translator has their own style, and just like when a new coach comes into the clubhouse, changes are going to be made. It's the nature of the beast.
If I was over at ADTRW, and was following in someone else's footsteps, paying attention to established convention would be more important. But with Dummy Scans picking up the project more or less "new", I feel that these chapters should stand on their own merits, as I'm not responsible for the quality of the ADTRW stuff.
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boke
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Posted at Thu May 11, 2006 23:49:03
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pg 116: Shikkari - "Hang in there"
I think something like "Brace yourself" would be better. |
I understand your concern, but I disagree. "Shikkari" is a sloppy term, used in many circumstances:
Hero is badly hurt. Sidekick comes running up shouting "Shikkari" - "Hang in there!"
Hero knows the right thing to do, but hasn't gotten off her butt to do it yet. Childhood friend says "Shikkari" - "Get your act together"
Hero is doing a job half-assed. Teacher comes over to scold him "Shikkari" - "Do it properly"
And, as you suggest, Hero is about to receive a knock out blow. Some one in the crowd yells to her "Shikkari" - "Brace yourself"
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mulrich
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Posted at Fri May 12, 2006 00:32:59
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But if Dad hasn't spoken like that before - taking the ADTRW releases into account as well - it would be inconsistent. I don't have the time to check nor am I part of staff, so feel free to ignore me. I just wanted to give my say
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It sounds like you have two concerns - consistency within the Dummy Scans project, and consistency of the Dummy Scans project with ADTRW. I'll address each separately.
Dad has spoken with a country twang as long as I have been working on the project. Consistency of accents is a concern for me, and I pay attention to things like when people use slang and contractions. I'm confident that the Dummy Scans translations are consistent with each other.
I have never read the ADTRW translations - I read the originals in Japanese - so I have no clue what their approach was. Every translator has their own style, and just like when a new coach comes into the clubhouse, changes are going to be made. It's the nature of the beast.
If I was over at ADTRW, and was following in someone else's footsteps, paying attention to established convention would be more important. But with Dummy Scans picking up the project more or less "new", I feel that these chapters should stand on their own merits, as I'm not responsible for the quality of the ADTRW stuff. |
It's cool. You do it whatever way you wanna do it. I'm just happy this project is coming along. The waiting for ch23 is unbearable.
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mrdummy
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Posted at Fri May 12, 2006 00:52:32
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p101: doncha think -> don't you think
p102: ya -> you
p102: doncha have -> don't you have
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Dad speaks with somewhat of a country accent, and the translation has tried to indicate that consistently. Please change back.
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Crus, don't change texts too quickly, please. There is still time for editing pages, and chapter 23 is not started.
Thus take your time, confirm first your suggestions with another, because Japanese language is not easy and it's possible that there is sort of speaking, and boke choose a word which is most suitable for strange talkings in manga.
I see also such 'quick' or 'fast' words in fansubbing. I don't really see problems, i know you want keep good English language and grammar, that is good. But confirm first your words, then change the texts in the pages. We can learn from translations, right?
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mrdummy
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Posted at Fri May 12, 2006 14:24:29
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113: "I want your body too..."
===========
Echoing crusaderky's comment from last time, does she actually say that? It seems kind of rude, when she's hoping to persuade Ayame to date her.
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It's what she means. But a better translation might be "I want a physical relationship with you, too" |
I have not always many rooms in bubbles, thus i cannot put many words inside, or i must redraw the bubble to make it possible. If the short version is good enough, then we can do it. But is another longer version more better and accurate, you may say it. The point is only if i can put all the words inside the unedited bubble. Redraw bubble is not big problem for me, but i want keep it minimal.
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boke
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Posted at Fri May 12, 2006 23:47:45
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please use the second version.
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povidiusnaso
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Posted at Fri May 12, 2006 23:56:46
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It's what she means. But a better translation might be "I want a physical relationship with you, too" |
Translating stuff like this is always hard because the words carry so many connotations. How blunt and/or rude is Mako being? How unusual would it be for a boy to say that to a girl? From what I've seen, Japanese, like English, has words that connote sexual/romantic relationship when used by a boy/girl couple, but not when used between two girls. (For instance, a boy using "girlfriend" almost always means sexual/romantic partner, but girls will refer to "girlfriends" and just mean friends. Lesbians sometimes use "partner" or such to avoid the ambiguity.) Is Mako trying to make it explicit to Ayame that she wants to be more than friends by avoiding the usual words?
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boke
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Posted at Sat May 13, 2006 01:25:31
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Is Mako trying to make it explicit to Ayame that she wants to be more than friends by avoiding the usual words? |
Mako is using some pretty stilted language here, and I think the author is trying to show her inexperience. Rather than saying "I want to go out with you", she's literally saying "I want to have a love relationship". Then she clarifies by saying she wants a physical relationship.
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crusaderky
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Posted at Sun May 14, 2006 10:10:49
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It's what she means. But a better translation might be "I want a physical relationship with you, too" |
I don't like it. It's pompous and complicated to say - definitely not suitable for what mood is mako in.
I like the first more. Or how about "I want to know your body too"?
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CRVSADER//KY
CVI.SCIENTIA.IMPERIVM
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