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mrdummy
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 Last replied to on Thu May 18, 2006 19:56:31
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Finally, the next batch is uploaded.
Here we are now more further dan oldest translations. Yay!
We see now the Eitaro revenge 
Good luck with translation and proofreading *thumbs up*
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mrdummy
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Posted at Sun Apr 16, 2006 13:28:43
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Oh yes, i forgot something important.
I can give another translators the chance to translate this pages. For example pmouse or chiaki777. Which person can do the translation now? Boke may wait first for them.
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chiaki777
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Posted at Mon Apr 17, 2006 09:01:06
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I can get started on them, I've entered spring break over here, I have time.
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chiaki777
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Posted at Mon Apr 17, 2006 09:48:42
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So far I have but one problem in terms of translation,
"Debeso" or an "outie belly button" in English, is there such a single word that summerizes that characteristic? ~Pg. 39
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mrdummy
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Posted at Mon Apr 17, 2006 11:05:11
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kakashi111 has already started?
Ok, chiaki777 has now permission to edit the balloons.
Good luck.
But then must kakashi111 stop with translation now, to give chiaki777 the chance. We can not do two translators work at the page at same time!!!! It gives troubles with double-placed balloons. That is why we must tell who translate the pages.
kakashi111 is doing too fast (without telling first) 
Please tell me, kakashi111, that you're now stopped with translation.
It's very important to post first at forum WHO want translate the pages. Place then message 'I want translate the pages now, can i start now?' here, so another translators can see it and wait for it. After the permission from me or from Boke, the main translator, you can start or not.
Yes, i have decided that boke is main translator for all another translators. Keep it in mind.
Please keep posting on forum to prevent mistakes in communication between translators. Thank you.
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mrdummy
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Posted at Tue Apr 18, 2006 20:29:55
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Keep the good work, Chiaki777
Please tell us when you're ready, then another people can check the translations and add more when needed.
We're waiting for your signal. 
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chiaki777
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Posted at Wed Apr 19, 2006 01:34:14
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ten more pages. I'll finish them up soon. In the mean time, I've spent too much time in my room. 
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kakashi111
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Posted at Thu Apr 20, 2006 08:10:31
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Hi everyone, I'm very sorry for the mix up!
I just logged in and didn't check the forums), so apologies for any inconvenience... ＾＿＾て
I think it would be better for Chiaki777 (Great Work!) to do the translations. ^_^d
(quite infrequent logins for me as started a new job...)
I'll pop in to add the small stuff like sound effects if it doesn't affect anyone...
Thanks again for everything and sorry for the trouble! ^^
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chiaki777
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Posted at Sat Apr 22, 2006 00:44:18
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kay, I'm done! Have people start looking through!
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mrdummy
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Posted at Sat Apr 22, 2006 01:30:20
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kay, I'm done! Have people start looking through! |
Thank you. But you may also check the pages again for forgotten texts, effects and typos.
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povidiusnaso
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Posted at Fri May 05, 2006 08:11:47
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Here are my comments. I noted a lot of irregular capitalization and recapitalized in the style I'm more familiar with; also, I made a lot of notes on style for representing stammering in text and and the way I'm used to seeing ellipses. There were one or two places where I had trouble understanding the dialog and I noted those too.
This is unrelated, but is anyone else bothered by the Adolf Hitler resemblance and swastika motif of the scientist? I know the Japanese have a very different perspective on WWII than most Western peoples, but it seems superfluous to the story so far, which makes the message it sends kind of strange.
035: "That mustashioed" . . . -> "That mustachioed"
036: "Why are such toilets near..."
I don't understand what he means here.
"Toilet Toilet Toilet" -> "Toilet toilet toilet"
I think lowercase looks better here.
"bathroom...lavatory......" -> "Bathroom... lavatory..."
Fourth bottom left panel: spot on panel frame in middle bottom?
037: "Ha.. Ha.. Ha.." -> "Ha... ha... ha..."
"nh?"
Add a vowel, for "Unh?"
038: "Ah Ah! Older Brother!" -> "Ah ah! Older brother!"
"haha...I have no idea" -> "Haha... I have no idea"
"Mum!?"
"Mum" for "mother" is usually a British expression, in my experience.
"My Young Brother Eitarou..." -> "My young brother Eitarou..."
"My Own Wake!?" -> "My own wake!?"
"errr..." -> "Errr..."
"huh..." -> "Huh..."
039: "Are you Eitarou's Lover?" -> "Are you Eitarou's lover?"
"A beauty like you......"
I'd use just a standard ellipsis ("...").
"After the Funeral," -> "After the funeral,"
"It's only just a dead man,"
Sounds strange to my ear, and "only" and "just" are redundant.
"uwaa..such a cute person" -> "Uwaa...such a cute person"
Possible suggestion, if the gender is ambiguous in the Japanese,
replace, "person" with "girl?"
"Arent' you?" -> "Aren't you?"
"Stop it outie?"
I don't understand this phrase.
"That's Weird" -> "That's weird"
Also, standard ellipsis at the end.
"This is no time to be digressing."
Instead of "digressing," maybe "wool-gathering?"
040: "Stop for pete's sake!" -> "Stop for Pete's sake."
"This is the donation records." -> "These are the donation records."
Standard ellipses several places in the panels on the bottom half.
"That teacher must have had the hots more me!" -> "That teacher must have had the hots for me!"
"you forget all the bad things in their life"
This sense doesn't feel right to me. Does Eitarou mean, "all the bad things they did," or "all their bad points?"
041: Again, standard ellipses.
"Beautiful Girl's Association."
I think it should be either "Girls" (simple plural) or "Girls'" (possessive plural).
"Mi Chi Ru San" -> "Mi-chi-ru san"
"I haven't met him recently, but I have been writing letters"
Is there a reason that "haven't" is contracted and "I have" isn't? I'd probably contract both if not.
"he was pretty handsom" -> "he was pretty handsome"
"yahoo!" -> "Yahoo!"
"sweet thing." -> "sweet things."
044: "so?" -> "So?"
"He was biased"
"Biased" is a little vague. Maybe "shallow?"
"like some Candy?" -> "like some candy?"
"As a boyfriend he was definately a great candidate." -> "As a boyfriend he was definitely a great candidate."
"Well, to say in one word..." -> "Well, to say it in one word..."
"He's really an Idiot." -> "He's really an idiot."
"I-Is-is tha-Is that your true thoughts?" -> "A-Are-are tho-Are those your true thoughts?"
"Y,y,y, you watch!" -> "Y-y-y-you watch!"
Thread in bottom left of bottom panel?
045: "A Beauty!" -> "A beauty!"
046: "Wha,what is that" -> "Wha-what is that"
Period after extended "you?"
047: "Who, Who is" -> "Who-who is"
"She transfered" -> "She transferred"
"The Same Class!?" -> "The same class!?"
"That's Bad" -> "That's bad"
048: "heh, hehe it's not like..." -> "Heh, hehe it's not like..."
"N, now I remember" -> "N-now I remember"
"huh?" -> "Huh?"
"Mer..." -> "Mar..."
049: "Hey Hey Hey" -> "Hey hey hey"
"Arranged Marriage?" -> "Arranged marriage?"
"My, my husband won't let me . . . so......"
Standard ellipsis at end. I don't understand what Eitarou is trying
to say here.
"*squeal* she's" -> "*squeal* She's"
"But she is a really pretty . . . you?"
First she's speaking about Eitarou in the third person, then she
shifts to address him in the second person? Is this what she does in
the Japanese?
"heh..." -> "Heh"
"What's Wrong?" -> "What's wrong?"
050: "Doesn't it seem that a married person seems to have" -> "Doesn't it seem that a married person has a different skin tone"
Is the second "seem" redundant?
"It is, it really is!" -> "It does, it really does!"
I.e., "It does seem a married person . . ."
"Ah... No... That is..." -> "Ah... no... that is..."
"M, marriage m, must be" -> "M-marriage m-must be"
051: "Yes Yes that's it!" -> "Yes, yes, that's it!"
Or maybe em dashes instead of commas?
"yess..." -> "Yess..."
Standard ellipses in bottom left panel.
052: "What is Wrong with Everyone?" -> "What is wrong with everyone?"
053: "hey, welcome home" -> "Hey, welcome home"
054: "Y, you idiot!" -> "Y-you idiot!"
"can't see the difference" -> "can't tell the difference"
More usual expression in English, I think.
055: "Champaign." -> "champagne."
Standard ellipsis in left middle panel.
"hehehe" -> "Hehehe"
057: "Wh, Wh, Wh, What are" -> "Wh-wh-wh-what are"
059: "V, Very" -> "V-very"
"Wha, What's" -> "Wha-what's"
060: "it makes me" -> "It makes me"
Standard ellipses in several places.
061: "Could there be any good ideas... ?"
There's no ellipsis in the original, but this is a fragment.
"How to be a goodly wifle" -> "How to be a good wife."
Adverb form?
062: "Wo... Woah..." -> "Wo... woah..."
"Th, That's amazing" -> "Th-that's amazing"
063: "Definately NEVER!" -> "Definitely NEVER!"
064: "P, P, P, Please" -> "P-p-p-please"
065: "For god's sake," -> "For God's sake,"
Since the scientist appears to be a Christian, should this be capitalized?
"Oh great father in heaven" -> "Oh Father who art in heaven"
This is the usual opening to some prayers in English . . . I'm not sure if it should be translated as that, though. "Father," however, should be capitalized.
"forgive this couples sins....." -> "forgive this couple's sins..."
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mrdummy
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Posted at Fri May 05, 2006 19:22:32
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It's manga from 1976... Hitler view is possible in such Japanese mangas used as parody for 'evil person'. I cannot help why Hitler is here.
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mulrich
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Posted at Fri May 05, 2006 19:41:37
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Are you by any chance German, chiaki777? Or perhaps from Switzerland or Austria? I noticed you wrote all the nouns with capital letters. I'm merely curious 
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chiaki777
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Posted at Thu May 18, 2006 06:53:20
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I'm just strange in my writing I suppose, I'm sorry i haven't been on that much, back to school for me.
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SinsI
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Posted at Thu May 18, 2006 14:58:35
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Quote:
065: "For god's sake," -> "For God's sake,"
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Actually, "hairettara kora" has no references to "god" in itself.
"For god's sake" -> "Goddamnit, get in here already!"
065: "we are a couple" -> "Aren't we husband and wife?"
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povidiusnaso
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Posted at Thu May 18, 2006 19:56:31
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I can apply some of the more obvious corrections (spelling errors and typos, for instance), but I'd like the translator's (or someone else who knows Japanese) comments on some of these before I make any changes.
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