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Waxmaker
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 Posted at Tue Feb 07, 2006 16:22:25
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Mm, a couple of comments on these corrections...
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149: Mako-chan, you go home without me, 'kay?
#removed "on"
#added ' to 'kay
##Nothing wrong with "go on home", really... sounds nice and casual that way. As far as the "'kay", I'd normally agree completely, but in this case they've been using just "kay" for previous chapters and consistency might be better.
156: boys'
## Good catch!
158: on the previous page it was "I explained some things to her", so it has to be "Explained? Explained what?" here
## Good catch!
169: it would be better if there were a "glance" SFX near the hiragana instead of a side note
## I agree, but I guess they don't want it that way.
170: it would be better if there were a "OH" SFX near the hiragana instead of the side note for "piku"
## I agree, but I guess they don't want it that way.
171: Wha!
## I'm afraid I don't see the point of this one. "Uwa!" seems just fine to me here (I assume that's what you were suggesting replacing)
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crusaderky
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Posted at Tue Feb 07, 2006 17:45:40
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149: Mako-chan, you go home without me, 'kay?
#removed "on"
#added ' to 'kay
##Nothing wrong with "go on home", really... sounds nice and casual that way.
google results for "go on home": 115.000
google results for "go home": 19.100.000 
It seems a bit desuete to me (and in fact, I never heard it before). Remember that words that are very common for a particular person (more often, for a particular family or friends group) may not be so for the general public.
As far as the "'kay", I'd normally agree completely, but in this case they've been using just "kay" for previous chapters and consistency might be better.
Hey, just because the previous translator did a mistake, it doesn't mean that you have to do it too. (by the way, I don't think anybody will notice the "inconsistency")
171: Wha!
## I'm afraid I don't see the point of this one. "Uwa!" seems just fine to me here (I assume that's what you were suggesting replacing)
Uhm, I see, it's a font problem. Uppercase 'U' looks very similar to 'H' and that misleaded me.
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boke
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Posted at Tue Feb 07, 2006 17:49:32
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Remember that words that are very common for a particular person (more often, for a particular family or friends group) may not be so for the general public.
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and remember that sometimes a translator is trying to duplicate a certain nuance....
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mrdummy
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Posted at Tue Feb 07, 2006 21:40:50
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p147: #nickname changed, but the font Mighty Zeo has no double-s. Thus i use VAGRounded Lite as new font for front page.
p149:
> Mako-chan, you go on home without me, 'kay?
#I let it unchanged, because it is better calm and understandable in most ears. Without 'on', it's very short and not nice. Don't always listen to Google. There are still people with wrong English on the world 
> 'kay
# I use it with '. We can make previous chapters better if you want.
p156: > boys'
p158: > "Explained? Explained what?"
#Agreed, reads better in that way.
p166: #3 bubbles around Hiromi, no remove capitalization? (Since you...) and (It would...)
p169: #not easy, because it's not normal glance. Thus for now, i keep it as a note. Or it should like "side-glance".
p170: #because there is already bubble 'Ah', 'OH' as sfx looks double. When she notice something, it should like sounded "ping" or "zitzu" for body reaction. Something like electricity shock feel. No good example? Then i keep it as a note.
171: Wha! #no, it's really Uwa.
Uhm, I see, it's a font problem. Uppercase 'U' looks very similar to 'H' and that misleaded me.
#Well, I recognize it not very well as H, because the middle line is too low. It's more U. See font chars below. You see the difference.
I have at many pages reformatted text in the bubbles to look it better. But i don't use always rule "overall same marge" because i want good balance between good reading/better looking text and enough marge around the text. See example here:
 
Left is with marge-rule, but it looks not nice for reading. With right example, reading is more prettier.
Edit: New zip file uploaded. You can check it now.
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crusaderky
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Posted at Tue Feb 07, 2006 22:03:20
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p166: #3 bubbles around Hiromi, no remove capitalization? (Since you...) and (It would...)
yeah, capitalization should be removed. I didn't notice it.
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mrdummy
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Posted at Tue Feb 07, 2006 22:13:15
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p166: #3 bubbles around Hiromi, no remove capitalization? (Since you...) and (It would...)
yeah, capitalization should be removed. I didn't notice it. |
I knew it...
Ok, quick into photoshop, fixing the texts, export, optimize png, zip, upload again.... ready.
You can download again and check it. Latest version has CRC code BFECBD88 or filesize 6.390.544 bytes
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crusaderky
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Posted at Wed Feb 08, 2006 00:14:49
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154: odd that I didn't notice this one before. The subject suddendly changes from plural to singular. It should be better to keep it singular from the start (since using plural in the latter sentence doesn't make much sense): A girl's whole body is an erogenous zone, but most of that is never taken advantage of... All the rest stays unchanged.
156: there are a lot of horizontal ... , and suddendly some vertical ones. It would be better to flip them to horizontal too.
162: could use a bit of extra cleanup from dust (upper-left corner) and imperfect coloring
163: dust spots on the stockings; the door could use a cleanup
164: dust spots on the mirror and at the bottom-left; stockings could use a cleanup
169: dust on the upper-right corner
172: the contours of the stockings and the sweater could use some refining
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mrdummy
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Posted at Wed Feb 08, 2006 01:40:16
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156: there are a lot of horizontal ... , and suddendly some vertical ones. It would be better to flip them to horizontal too. |
The vertical ... comes from original raws. It's unchanged bubble. But you may have right. Use both Japanese and English versions is bit confusing. We do English version, thus Japanese vertical ... must be converted to horizontal English version.
Fixed one bubble with (A girl's....).
Quote:
162: could use a bit of extra cleanup from dust (upper-left corner) and imperfect coloring |
Forgot convert to grayscale. It's still RGB! Sorry! o_o
Quick checking another pages for greyscale<>RGB...
p170 is also in RGB. Fixed.
163: dust spots on the stockings; the door could use a cleanup
#Those are very little white points *sigh*
164: dust spots on the mirror and at the bottom-left; stockings could use a cleanup
#2 whitepoints and some very small dots.
169: dust on the upper-right corner
#one white point...
Quote:
172: the contours of the stockings and the sweater could use some refining |
Little lines around feets? That is not my problem, they're original drawings from Yui Toshinki. The filling is indeed not 100% ok, but i don't want change it. You must tell Yui that he must better fill up the areas ;)
You see also same fill problems in another pages. Why should I fix all fill up errors?
Ok, new version uploaded.
Filesize is 6.430.612 bytes. CRC: 43383F74
That should do it after so many edits!
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crusaderky
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Posted at Wed Feb 08, 2006 13:27:41
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You must tell Yui that he must better fill up the areas ;) |
Toshiki Yui is actually a lady (that usually draws hentai, too) 
Quote:
Ok, new version uploaded.
That should do it after so many edits! |
148: white spot on the tree
I'd call it final 
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mrdummy
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Posted at Wed Feb 08, 2006 18:19:13
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148: white spot on the tree |
Yeah, but if i check more pages properly, i see white dots:
- in hair above at page 155
- white dot below page 156, at body of Mako-chan
- white dot above at page 157 in the tree
- some white points above page 166
- white dot above p170
- one very small dot below p171 on stocking
Must i remove all white dots? *sigh*
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mrdummy
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Posted at Wed Feb 08, 2006 18:26:01
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Toshiki Yui is actually a lady (that usually draws hentai, too) |
Most hentai are drawed by men, right? But i know in Japan there are also women who can good draw mangas. But hentai is not so much drawed by women.
And it's also quality manga! Some works from Yui Toshiki have much high-tech and sci-fi elements. I tought that is more loved by men than by women.
Thanks for the explaination.
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mrdummy
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Posted at Wed Feb 08, 2006 23:07:33
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I have removed some white dots.
The final version is now uploaded.
Filesize: 6.430.771, crc: 0D353C9C
I send now pm to boke so he can check it himself.
Tomorrow i start the torrent.
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crusaderky
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Posted at Thu Feb 09, 2006 00:31:09
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Must i remove all white dots? *sigh* |
Now, that is an old question, that can be translated to "should I do a perfect work, or release as fast as I can?" The answer is even older: virtus in medio. Virtue stays in the middle. So you should mark a release as final whenever you feel that it's reasonably good.
Besides, white dots can be quickly removed in the very first photoshopping phase; you just have to look for them systematically.
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mrdummy
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Posted at Thu Feb 09, 2006 00:47:19
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Besides, white dots can be quickly removed in the very first photoshopping phase; you just have to look for them systematically. |
Yup, when i start with editing chapter 21, i shall check pages for white dots/dust and greyscale. That keep the discussion here to minimum
De latest zip above is final. Boke may give his reaction if he want, the torrent is not started until tomorrow. (approx. over 18 hours)
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boke
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Posted at Thu Feb 09, 2006 01:08:03
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k
'k
kay
'kay
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mrdummy
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Posted at Thu Feb 09, 2006 09:21:59
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Something is wrong. I have uploaded wrong zip file.. 
The file in the link is not correct version.
I'm now searching for correct zip file.
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mrdummy
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Posted at Thu Feb 09, 2006 11:52:54
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Ok, now this time the correct zip file is uploaded again and verified.
I'm sorry for the trouble.
Check the link again if you want.
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Well, i have started torrent already. Crusaderky has already seen good version before (when there are some white dots found) thus it must be okay.
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crusaderky
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Posted at Thu Feb 09, 2006 22:30:59
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At this very moment there are 160 peers connected... this is a hit! *raises a beer bottle*
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mrdummy
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Posted at Thu Feb 09, 2006 23:53:40
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At this very moment there are 160 peers connected... this is a hit! *raises a beer bottle* |
Chapter 19 should soon 4000 times downloaded, if it goes continue Almost
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